Gavin Newsom was on the radio yesterday, and said something incredibly compassionate that’s stayed with me.
So there’s this CA state senator who’s voted unfailingly against gay rights. And this is sad, but even more so when he gets a DUI whilst returning from a gay nightclub. With a man. Who presumably was OF THE GAY, and intending to be teh gay with him.
Not knowing the man I thought, maybe, his politics were a deliberate front to prove himself. LOL hypocrite, deserves this very public outing, etc.
& then Newsom comes on the radio, and says that he feels badly for the man as he’d clearly spent a long time denying who he was. They were unexpected kind words.
So I’m trying to imagine how one might continually deny their sexuality. And though I don’t forgive the man’s voting record, it’s surprisingly easy to see how someone could live in denial. Especially someone a generation above me.. Maybe you grow up where gay = shame, and never get the impetus to struggle through your feelings. Maybe you’re carried through heterosexual courtship, and marriage, by social norms and it’s easy to go along. Maybe the acceptance of your community is more valuable than satisfying those twitches of lust and dream.
It’s a lil scary to see parallels in myself. Sometimes I go along when I should fight. More often tho, I fall for someone and end up monogamous, making tiny sacrifices of attitude, ’cause it’s easy and I love them. I guess I’m selfish, or m’ heart is meant for polyamoury?
But like making a life, out and gay, a generation ago may have been really hard- for social factors, but also ’cause of the rarity of possible partners- I think doing so determinedly poly would be really hard for me.
And damn it, I love my very very monogamous boyfriend.
